she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Randomize
