He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize