im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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