would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Randomize
