Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
