you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
