I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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