just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
