Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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