nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
