Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
