i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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