hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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