She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize