He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
