it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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