he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
