actually, I'm a sock model
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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