I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
