wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
