u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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