If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
