So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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