you mean i was at the winter classic?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
