Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
