the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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