: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
