you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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