Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I know her cup size but not her name....
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