I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
