Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
