I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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