i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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