Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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