Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
