Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
