he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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