just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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