...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize