So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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