girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
