Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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