He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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