i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
