Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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