My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i think my cat just said my name.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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