Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
