Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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