My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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