i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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