So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
