i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
