nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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