i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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