We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
