He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
