he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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