I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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