Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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