Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
