They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
