Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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