i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
