My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
