uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
