Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
